My first pass at a query letter. (Ok not really)

So out of boredom, I decided to combine a mostly real query letter to an agent, and inject some humor into it.

I find this funny, but I'm weird...


Dear Agent,

After a sudden and violent attack on US soil throws the country into an immediate state of panic, Mitchel Wilkenson and his wife Ellie are thrust into a secured vault beneath the ground along with a dozen other survivors.

When they emerge only one week later, the world has been changed beyond all recognition. The city around them leveled, and the only other remaining survivors crazed, murderous or worse, they embark on a journey to find a new life.

Upon settling down in the foothills of Tennessee, the group believes the worst is behind them, and they begin to rebuild. The momentary peace comes to an end when their group of refugees is ripped apart by brutal slavers and Mitchel's wife is kidnapped. As he travels the countryside in search of his wife, he will also begin to piece together what happened to the world, and what the meaning is behind the mysterious number 710 which he sees spraypainted on buildings in every city.


This work could be considered in progress at 400 words out of 75,000. My story would be considered to be along the lines of Mad Max meets The Stand.

I have never written anything before, but am quite confident in my ability to write a story which might be considered to be a best seller. Despite my relative inexperience, I have been told that I have much in common with such notable authors as Dylan Thomas, Edgar Allen Poe and even Jack Kerouac. That commonality would of course be rampant, debilitating alcoholism.

On the plus side, like the three aforementioned legends, I have no intention of surviving past my fortieth birthday, so there should be some free publicity in it for you.

Should you be willing, a partial will be available at your request. (Obviously a full is out of the question.)

Thank you for your time,
Lucidz